Depression Sucks!

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Hello, My name is Susan and I am bipolar type 2 and have anxiety. Some days that’s the way I feel like I need to introduce myself and I shouldn’t but not everyone understands, bipolar, depression and anxiety and the stigma is still there, it’s slowly going away but not many people understands it or they are scared of it.

It’s nothing to be scared of and I shouldn’t have to feel like I have a label, I’m here to say depression sucks! It is a huge roller coaster of emotions that you can’t control no matter if you are medicated or not you still have those days. There are triggers and you learn your triggers but there are also things in life that happen that you have no control over!

I was diagnosed at 15 as manic depressive which is now just called bipolar, after doing a lot of therapy we have come to realize that I am bipolar type 2 (which I will explain the differences later). Being bipolar is not a life sentence of hell, you can manage it and on the days that are bad you can learn to cope or if it’s really that bad you learn how to throw a fake smile on your face.

I have lived with the fact that I am bipolar for 23 years, I haven’t always been medicated which was a huge mistake, I have had plenty of meltdowns, plenty of manic episodes and plenty of days where I feel like I can’t get out of bed.

Why am I writing this you may ask? Cause I don’t want someone out there to feel alone, you ARE NOT ALONE! There are thousands of people out there that have some form of a mental illness and some people don’t even know it yet or how to seek out help which is also becoming harder to do! Where I am located we do not have a lot of therapists or psychiatrists which makes it hard to get help BUT there is help and you have to keep the faith!

When I was younger I didn’t know what was going on with me, I started hanging out with the wrong group of kids, I became a cutter to try and deal with my problems which let me say it doesn’t really help! That was just my way of dealing. Once I started seeing someone and got medicated and did therapy it was a world of difference. I did not feel the need to cut, I didn’t always feel alone.

As an adult there are times where you still feel alone and like nobody understands and some people truly don’t they think you can just snap out of it and some days you just can’t.

To anyone reading this you are not alone! I am here and there is help out there!

Bipolar type 2:

A less severe type of bipolar disorder characterized by depressive and hypo-manic episodes.

Requires a medical diagnosis

Depressive symptoms include sadness or hopelessness. Hypo-manic symptoms include a persistently elevated or irritable mood.

People may experience:

Mood: mood swings, anxiety, deep sadness, euphoria, general discontent, guilt, hopelessness, or loss of interest or pleasure in activities

Behavioral: compulsive behavior, impulsive, irritability, restlessness, or self-harm

Cognitive: lack of concentration, racing thoughts, slowness in activity, or thoughts of suicide

Sleep: excess sleepiness or insomnia

Psychological: depression or grandiosity

Also common: rapid and frenzied speaking

For more information on bipolar click

The national suicide hot-line number is: Call 1-800-273-8255

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You will read more about depression and my story as this website grows, until then know that you aren’t alone, I know I’m not!

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